If you're someone who regularly scans the protein bar aisle with the hope that this time you’ll find something that tastes more like dessert and less like a compressed oat brick, you're not alone. And finally—finally—there may be an answer.
Meet Hormbles Chormbles, the latest brainchild from Jared Smith, co-founder of RXBar. Yes, the same guy who helped build a movement around clean-label protein bars is now out to reinvent the chocolate bar—but with macros you don’t have to side-eye.
After hearing the hype, I decided to grab the sampler pack from Hormbles Chormbles’ website. Thanks to free shipping on the first order and the promise of a candy bar with 10 grams of protein, 0 sugar, and just 100 calories, I figured it was worth a try. What I wasn’t expecting was to blow through the whole sampler in one day and end up back on the site placing another order. Let’s get into it.
First Impressions
Straight out of the box, Hormbles Chormbles doesn’t look like your typical protein snack. Instead of a thick, chewy bar or one of those dry, chalky types, these come in a slim, four-square chocolate bar format—exactly what you’d expect from a candy bar.
It’s sleek, snappable, and portioned in a way that makes you feel like you’re actually treating yourself. No guilt, no shame, and no weird textures to power through. Just clean ingredients, a bit of crunch, and chocolate. Lots of it.
What’s Inside?
Each bar contains:
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10 grams of protein
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0g sugar
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9–10g carbs
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6g of fat
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100 calories
The sweeteners used are allulose, monk fruit, and stevia—so you’re avoiding the fake taste of some sugar alcohols and also dodging the stomach discomfort that comes with them.
The protein comes from a mix of whey and milk protein isolate, and the fat comes in part from EPG, a low-calorie fat alternative that keeps things creamy without pushing up the calories. It’s not just clean—it’s smart food science.
Flavor Review: Breaking Down All 4
I tried all four flavors in the sampler. Here's how they ranked:
1. Peanut Butter
This was an absolute standout. Smooth, slightly salty, and just the right amount of peanut flavor to balance the chocolate. It reminded me of a peanut butter cup, but way more satisfying thanks to the protein crisps inside. If Reese’s ever went keto and high-protein, this would be it. Easily a reorder.
2. Cookies & Creme
Okay, here’s where personal preference plays a big role. I’m not a cookies and cream fan in general, so I didn’t expect to love this one—and I didn’t. BUT (and this is key) I passed it to my husband and he was instantly hooked. He said it reminded him of an Oreo dipped in protein-packed chocolate. So while it wasn’t my favorite, it definitely has its audience.
3. Salted Fudge
Rich, intense, and a little grown-up. This one tasted closest to a high-end dark chocolate bar, with just a hint of salt that makes each bite feel indulgent. If you’re a fan of bold chocolate flavors without added sweetness, this is a must-try.
4. Milk Chocolate
Sometimes basic is best. This flavor didn’t try too hard—it was just a smooth, simple milk chocolate bar with a light protein crunch. It reminded me of a childhood candy bar, but one I could eat without regret. No sugar crash, no bloating, just a satisfying snack.
Taste vs. Macros: The Real Magic
Here’s the thing: lots of bars boast “great taste” and “no sugar,” but we all know the drill—most taste like something you’d pack for a solo camping trip. Hormbles Chormbles actually delivers. You’d never guess these bars are:
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Only 100 calories
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Zero sugar
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10g protein
And yet, they taste like something you’d grab at the grocery checkout line.
Even better? You’re not locked into a giant brick of 20g protein that takes ten minutes to chew. These are quick, satisfying, and modular—want more protein? Eat two. Still only 200 calories, and you’re hitting 20g of protein without any weird bloating or artificial taste.
Price Point and Value
You can buy a box of 12 for $39.99, which breaks down to about $3.33 per bar. That’s not cheap, but it’s competitive with higher-end protein bars like Barebells, Perfect Bar, or Quest. Plus, the quality and taste put it in a different category. You’re not just paying for protein—you’re paying for an enjoyable snack experience that doesn’t feel like a compromise.
And for first-timers, there’s a sampler pack with all four flavors for $14.99 and free shipping. That’s how I got started, and honestly, it’s a no-brainer if you want to test the waters without committing to a full box.
Any Downsides?
Honestly, there’s not much to complain about—but here’s what I’d note:
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Flavor is personal: If you’re not into a certain flavor (like me with Cookies & Creme), you might not enjoy that one as much. That’s why the sampler pack is a smart move.
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Price: It’s premium. If you’re used to $1 snack bars, this might be a stretch. But again, you’re getting a functional candy bar, not a dry bulk snack.
Final Verdict: Worth the Hype?
Absolutely. Hormbles Chormbles hits the rare sweet spot between indulgence and performance. It’s a functional food that doesn’t feel “functional.” It feels like something you’d crave, not just something you tolerate because it fits your macros.
If you're on a high-protein diet, cutting sugar, or just looking for a better treat to keep at your desk or in your bag, these bars are more than worth it. And if you’ve ever wished someone would just make a candy bar that works with your goals—this is it.
Try the sampler, find your favorite, and get ready to rethink what a protein bar can be.
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